Having spent almost four years in Singapore with my spouse from another country, I have considered divorce on multiple occasions, yet I hold back due to the fear of losing my child and dealing with an unpredictable future in a foreign land.
I am 31 years old, married to a man from Singapore, and we have a three-year-old child.
Following our marriage, I relocated to Singapore to reside with my husband’s family. Initially, I didn’t have a stable job, and my residency documents were still being handled, so I relied mainly on my husband for financial support.
As I wasn’t able to start working immediately, I chose to have a child and take care of the baby myself.
Issues grew more severe during mypregnancy and after I had my baby. As employing a caregiver in Singapore is costly, I requested my mother to travel from Vietnam to assist me and the baby for a period of time.
My mother is accustomed to purchasing fresh food every day, and on weekends, she frequently asks my husband to take her to a market that isn’t very close to our house.
My mother-in-law was dissatisfied with the situation. She continuously suggested that my mother was causing trouble for her son. The conflict reached its height when the two families had a heated argument within the house. The statement that surprised me the most was when my mother-in-law said, “Your mother is your responsibility. Don’t have my son running around for her.”
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A divorce might result in a dispute over child custody. Image from Pexels |
What disappointed me the most was my husband’s response. Throughout the argument, he remained almost entirely quiet. He didn’t shout at me or stand up for his mother, yet his silence left me feeling isolated in a setting that already seemed foreign.
Following that event, the gap between us widened. We continue to reside under the same roof, care for our child, and split domestic costs, yet we no longer discuss our emotions as frequently.
I have thought about divorce on multiple occasions. However, every time I see my child, I pause. I am an immigrant, and my job remains uncertain. I am concerned that divorce would make things more complicated. Accommodation, immigration papers, and custody of the child would all become more challenging. The thing I fear the most is being separated from my child.
I am unsure if I would be able to support myself in Singapore if I left my husband. However, if I remain, I will keep feeling emotionally drained, and my child will grow up in a troubled environment.
I would like to receive feedback from other women who are living overseas and have gone through comparable circumstances.
